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At History I'm Hopeless

At history I'm hopeless.At spelling I stink.In music I'm useless.From science I shrink.At art I'm atrocious.In sports I'm a klut

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You Can Never Be Too Careful

You can never be too careful,that's what I always say, and so I wear a hat, or two,in case my hair turns gray.I've thirteen tire

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I Think My Dad is Dracula

I think my dad is Dracula.I know that sounds insane,but listen for a moment andallow me to explain.We don't live in a castle,and

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I'm Feeling Rather Full Tonight

I'm feeling rather full tonight.
I couldn't eat another bite.
I couldn't eat a half a bean,
or even taste a tangerine.
I couldn'

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And Backed My Car into a Tree

and backed my car into a tree.I wrote this poem back to frontor else you may end up like me.So do not try this silly stunt,I'm s

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Pet Shopping

While shopping at the pet storeI got my fondest wish.I bought myself a fish bowland then a pair of fish.And since I was alreadyo

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My Senses All are Backward

My senses all are backwardsand it really makes me wonderif on the day that I was bornsomebody made a blunder.For, strange but tr

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Five Sense Nonsense

I saw a saw.I felt some felt.I heard a herd.I smelt a smelt.I ate at eight.So tell me, do,does this make anysense to you?

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I Bought a Maserati

I bought a Maseratiand a new Mercedes-Benz,plus a brand new LamborghiniI could show off to my friends.I purchased a Ferrariand a

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I Built Myself a Time Machine

I built myself I time machinetomorrow afternoon,then traveled back to yesterday,and very, very soonI'll re-create my time machin

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I Bought a Pet Tomato

I bought a pet tomatoand I tried to teach him tricks,but he wasn't any good atcatching balls or fetching sticks.He could never c

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My Goldfish Took up Tennis

My goldfish took up tennis.They installed a little netat the bottom of their fishtankfor their first official set.They got tenni

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The Addlepated Glundersnedd

Industrious and underfed,the addlepated Glundersneddresides inside, beneath your bedand waits for dusky dark to spread.He waits

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When Larry Made Lasagna

When Larry made lasagnaall his neighbors stopped and stared.His lasagna was the largestthat had ever been prepared.He used ninet

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Take Me Out of the Classroom

Take me out of the classroom.
Take me out of the school.
I'm not so good at geography.
I would rather be watching T.V.

It's sti

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Mithing Tooth

I'm having trouble thpeaking,thinthe I lotht my middle tooth.Jutht yethterday my tooth wath fine --today it wiggled loothe.At fi

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I Have to Write a Poem

I have to write a poembut I really don't know how.So maybe I'll just make a rhymewith something dumb, like "cow."Okay, I'll writ

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The Contents of My Desk

A nail.A nickle.A snail.A pickle.A twisted-upslinky.A ring formy pinky.A blackenedbanana.A love notefrom Hannah.My doodlesof roc

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I Often Contradict Myself

I often contradict myself.Oh no, I never do.I argue with me day and night.That simply isnt true.Oh yes it is. Oh no it's not.I d

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This Morning is Our History Test

This morning is our history test.I've pinned my notes inside my vest.Inside my coat I wrote my notes,including dates and famous

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I Bought a Maserati

I bought a Maseratiand a new Mercedes-Benz,plus a brand new LamborghiniI could show off to my friends.I purchased a Ferrariand a

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Get Up! Get Up!

"Get up! Get up! Get out of bedyou lazy bum, you sleepyhead."Yes, that is what my mother saidat eight-oh-five today.She left the

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My Book Report is Due Today

My book report is due today.I haven't finished yet.In fact, I haven't started,which I'm coming to regret.I haven't even read the

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Swinging From the Lights

We're swinging from the lights.We're standing on our chairs.We're bouncing off the walls.We're sliding down the stairs.We're run

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My Penmanship is Pretty Bad

My penmanship is pretty bad.My printing's plainly awful.In truth, my writing looks so sadit ought to be unlawful.I try but, stil

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Calculator, Calculator

Calculator, calculator,help me with my math.Help me do my homeworkor I'll feel the teacher's wrath.Calculator, calculator,add th

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My Robot Does My Homework

My robot does my homework.He helps me every night.The trouble is he doesn't gettoo many answers right.He'd probably do betterat

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